I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
Randomize
