this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
Randomize
