So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
Randomize
