Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
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