they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
Randomize
