My liver just broke up with me...
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
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