I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
Randomize
