dude i'm inner monologue high
Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
Randomize
