operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
Randomize
