haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
Why did I wake up this morning with 10 tally marks on my hand and a penis drawn on my tits?
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
the room spins SO much faster in panama
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
Randomize
