I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
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