No stitches, just platelets and will power
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Randomize
