He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
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