is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
Randomize
