check it out our google latitudes are spooning
I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
i took a field sobriety test yesterday. a crowd gathered, watched me pass it and applauded. then the cops arrested me because i took a bow and fell over.
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
Ugh. I'm going to die alone, sister. Half-eaten by one of my thirty-seven cats and clutching a martini shaker
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
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