then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
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