just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
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