the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize
