I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
Randomize
