Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
Randomize
