You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
May the power of my ass compel you!!
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
Randomize
