Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
Randomize
