Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?
Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
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