So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
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