my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
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