I'm going to jail i love you
The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Randomize
