whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
Randomize
