I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
Randomize
