I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
My boss couldn’t find her phone so she asked me to call it and when I found it the screen said Fuck Toy was calling. I’m very much okay with this
Randomize
