My hair reeks of homosexuality.
What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
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