i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
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