do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
Housekeeping called in a homicide detective. Just spent an hour explaining that we had vigorous hotel vacation sex five times, even though I was having a heavy flow day. It'll definitely be what you call a memorable honeymoon.
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
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