i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
he high fived his dick after we had sex
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
Randomize
