Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
Randomize
