Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
Randomize
