i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
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