WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
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