last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
