Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
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