I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
Doing bumps while the kids play upstairs. #bestnannyever
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
Hey
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GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
Randomize
