It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
So essentially hes paying me $150k/year for the rest of his career to not have sex
SERIOUSLY? WTF! why cant I find a super hot, super gay, super conservative christian NFL player in need of a beard?
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
Def don't remember taking those pics I sent you...but it looks like I was in a car? Shit. Looks like my Uber passenger rating just went up exponentially.
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
Randomize
