just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
Randomize
