my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
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