i can't believe you bought a jetta. you know that's a girl car, right? if i hadn't had sex with you, i'd have no other proof you're straight.
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
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