I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
Randomize
