somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
i'm behind the bar giving him a hand job. i need stuff to make my foot stop itching.
okay, this is where i needed to clarify that i was kidding before when i said that jizz helps mosquito bites. but let me know how that goes. for future reference.
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
Randomize
