That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
Don't EVER smell your tampon
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
Randomize
