Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
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