Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
Define "chronic" masturbator.
I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
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