Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize
