It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
90% sure I just opened a snapchat of you in a fuzzy bathrobe next to your ceiling collapsing
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
Randomize
