I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
Randomize
