I think my fart just growled at me.
Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
We need to rekindle our bromance
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
So I stole cocaine from one of my Tinder hookups
And that is the most millennial sentence I've ever said
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
Randomize
