she gave me a handjob in the middle of the night and my stomach growled so she walked out totally naked and came back 5 minutes later with two sandwiches. who the fuck says getting married is awful?
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
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