Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
On Tinder, guy asked me if I had ever been fucked by a Pokemon master. Needless to say I didn't respond.
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
Cover your peen. We're going out.
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