we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
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